The Trade

Matthew and I are leaving for Kenya in two short weeks and this idea overwhelms me.  I'm not sure that I expected to feel this way.  It will be a great trip, a whole new set of life experiences.  We're going to Africa!  We love to travel.  I wanted to feel peaceful and excited and confident, like a kid on Christmas morning.  Why the hesitation?

There are so many things that are different and difficult about this trip.  Mission work of a variety, and to an extremity, that is unknown to us.  Ever since medical school this is something we've been called to do and now, finally, we have the time.  We know we want to help, that we'd like to be of some good there, but we really don't know what it will look like.  We've been volunteering and building houses and trying to do good things all our life, but never have we presumed to do so in a third world country where the nature of the work is as critical as healthcare.  That's how this trip is different.

This is how it is difficult:  It is just us.  We are not going with a group of people, relying on a central figure to organize everything.  I've made all our arrangements with the travel agent.  I've coordinated details with our mission contact.  I've double checked our vaccines and sent off for our visas.  We're both pretty experienced travelers but never have I planned a trip with more detail, reviewing each step methodically.

I've been putting off an opening blog entry because everything I tried to write felt presumptive.  Really, we won't know exactly what we'll be doing until we get there.  Matthew has invested a lot in this skill of medicine and with faith we hope it will be employed.  Beyond that everything is unknown.

So amid my procrastination I had this dream and I immediately awoke enlightened.  Bare with me because dreams always sound silly in the light of day, but I promise I was being addressed, directly, about my anxiety about Africa.

Matthew and I are at a crossroads and we're debating about which way to go.  One path is dark and looks suspicious but that path is more direct.  The well lit sidewalk with busy people and storefronts would take us twice as long to reach our destination (not sure where we are going).  We decide to take the dark alleyway which is stereotypically the place where bad people lurk and then violently attack you.  And of course that is exactly what happened.  Now, I'm a strong advocate against gun violence, and since this is my dream, that weapon doesn't even appear as an option of defense or brutality.  It's just Matthew against this unknown assailant, turning about and wrestling in the dark alley.  What does he want?  Matthew's wallet, or his life?  The attacker had the advantage of surprise on Matthew and had soon pinned him to the ground.  Then everything slowed down at this point.  Matthew stopped squirming and fighting long enough for the attacker to reach out for Matthew's glasses.   Then the man tried on his glasses.  They worked well.  And then the attacker started taking off his own coat and he gave it to Matthew.  This is when I woke up.

We assumed the attacker meant us malice and harm... we thought he wanted our wallets and our lives.  But what he wanted was much more simple and basic.  He wanted to see.  And he wanted to make a fair trade. This is what spoke to me about the dream:  our expectations, I think, are completely off base.  Our fears and concerns are about all the wrong things.  And the trade is significant.  Because I have this sneaking suspicion that we will take with us as much good as we will leave behind.  This is my hope and  my prayer as we prepare for our adventure.  A fair trade.

Welcome!

Thanks for visiting our blog.  We hope to document our venture to Kenya in April 2011.  Check again for more details of in the next few weeks...